Top 12 Jokes from Bridgetown Comedy Festival
Editor Carrie Seitzinger, Editor's Choice, April 22nd, 2013
"Hey, I don’t know if you know this but..."
Mini-Disclaimer: Clearly, jokes are not serious and that’s why we laugh at them. Sometimes they sound utterly terrible if you take them literally. As a person who feels deeply for the world around me, and cries for others’ pain on a daily basis (poet DNA), I also love the fact that pretty much anything can be laughed at, in the right context. Some of the comics mentioned below were particularly successful at pegging the persona of a bigot or moron, and then making jokes as that persona and about how it reacts to society. Thank god for laughter.
Also, this was initially going to be a list of one-liners, which just don’t happen that often, so instead it is a list of one-liners and several-liners. Needless to say, there were tons of amazing jokes that were long or had a complicated set-up, that my little hand couldn’t write down fast enough, no matter how hard I tried.
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12. “Raisins aren’t what they used to be.” – Tim Hammer
11. “Um, I haven’t been on Instagram today yet. Did any one see if the sun set?” – Kurt Braunohler
10. “When you think about it any whistle could be a rape whistle. Except maybe a slide whistle. Aaahhhhh! Booo-wooop!” – Dana Gould
9. “Good enough to tweet, not to say.” – Greg Behrendt
8. Gallagher was interviewed on Walking the Room and mostly talked about aging and death.
“Every morning I wake up and I go, ‘Oh shit. Another one of these.’” – Gallagher
7. “People…People are just problems with faces.” – Kate Berlant
6. This one needs a little clarification beforehand. Drew Lynch performed his whole set with a very intense stutter, which he told the audience is honestly a disability for him. I am the only Nailed editor who does not believe this story, but his set was excellent either way.
“People think like, I picked a disability out of a hat—like I just decided to be Asian. Just kidding, Asian isn’t a disability, it’s a gimmick.” – Drew Lynch
5. “Here’s what I’m going to put on my tombstone: JUST ANOTHER THING I RAN INTO THE GROUND.” – Gallagher
4. “I’m afraid of marijuana. I’m afraid because it’s a gateway drug. And it leads to homosexuality. And that leads to not wearing a tie.” – Paul Gilmartin as Republican Rep. Richard Martin (askarepublican.com)
3. “‘Anger’ is one letter short of ‘Danger’” – Marquee for the church on SE 39th (adjacent to the festival), clearly trying to participate in the comedy, and I find it noteworthy.
2. “Hey, I don’t know if you know this but there are lots of things that happen to people just because they’re black… Presidency is the least of those things.” – Emily Heller, on claims that Obama won the election “just because he’s black.”
1. “I have a confession to make. I’ve actually never had sex with a virgin. But I really enjoy breaking the seal on a brand new Jiff.” – Dana Gould
[Photo Credit: themoviewaffler.com]