20 Halloween Haunts That Will Scare the Hell Out of You

Prose

Oct 13

“Is this actually the best Halloween costume ever?”

*COSTUMES, HAUNTED HOUSES, SCARY MOVIES AND MORE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH OR CRY THIS HALLOWEEN*

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Dear Readers of My Words,

I am Kevin. You already know this. And if you’re anything like me, then you also love Halloween more than any other holiday on the calendar. There’s nothing more thrilling than a skeleton hand poking out of someone’s front lawn. There are few things more inspiring than the labor that goes into making the perfect haunted house. Candy is nice, but I prefer the ghouls and creeps. Scary movies, anyone? You’ll find me in the basement, under the black light, somewhere nearby the smoke machine, drinking something red and bloody-looking with a few eyeballs floating in it, too.

And now, please enjoy 20 Halloween-related goodies that I personally hand-selected to make your fright night the chilliest on record. And then enjoy the two bonus items at the end.

Trick or Treat,

Kevin Marie Byloos

1) 30 HORROR MOVIES THAT ARE SO SCARY, YOU JUST CAN’T WATCH THEM ALONE

Don’t worry. There’s more here than in the list above. Be prepared to see a few you’ve never heard of before here.

2) 13 REAL LIFE HAUNTED HOUSES AND THE HORROR STORIES THAT GO WITH THEM

Photographer Seph Lawless masters the art of documenting abandonment. And scaring us all in the process. Check out all of the Haunted Houses on HuffPo now.

3) AUTHENTIC COLLECTION OF CRIME SCENE PHOTOGRAPHY

Do you even need a trigger warning? Definitely not for the faint of heart. Trust me. Photos are here on Pinterest.

4) A PARADE OF HAUNTED HOUSES THAT WILL PERFECT THE ART OF SELF-SOILING

We’ve gone through several diaper-packs in our household so far, and there’s only two of us. I recommend cracking a window before you visit. Click here to spend some time inside 19 Insane Haunted Houses That’ll Literally Scare The Shit Out Of You.

5) 10 REAL-LIFE HORROR STORIES THAT WILL PROBABLY RUIN YOUR DAY

If you’re looking to have an otherwise perfect or average October day ruined with horror, then read this.

6) HOW DOLLS IN YOUR FRONT LAWN COULD HEART-ATTACK YOUR NEIGHBOR

The only thing scarier than a zombie apocalypse, is a zombie apocalypse in miniature. Go check out 20 Super Scary Halloween Decorations now and get ready for your own damn partay.

7) A HALLOWEEN BURGER TO SCARE THE SCARY POOP OUT OF YOU

More defecation due to mindless thrills. Get in on the Burger King Scary Ass Burger fest now.

8) CHILD DRESSES UP AS FALLING CHILD FOR HALLOWEEN

Is this actually the best Halloween costume ever? I suppose if you’re either shorter than 26 inches tall or you can’t read because you’re four, then it’s a strong maybe. Visit: Best Halloween Costume Ever now.

9) EVEN THE VIRTUAL TOUR OF THIS HAUNTED HOUSE WILL SCARE YOU

Or perhaps it’s closer to the truth to say, you’ll delight in watching other people get the crap scared out of them. Repeatedly. Watch the video here.

10) CHILL YOUR SPINE IN JAPAN’S BIGGEST AND SCARIEST HAUNTED HOUSE, FUJI-Q HIGHLAND

In Japan’s biggest and scariest haunted house, visitors need to spend about an hour to complete and find your way out of the huge maze inside. Read about it now.

11) THE 31 SCARIEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME

You’ve still got plenty of time to watch each and every single one of them. Preferably late at night by yourself. Here’s the list.

12) 13 WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF SOME FAKE BLOOD FOR HALLOWEEN

Is it a coincidence they came up with 13 fool-proof recipes for fake blood? Find out for yourself here.

13) RECIPE FOR RED VELVET BRAIN CAKE

If there’s someone special in your life who you’ve been meaning to do away with, don’t let the best parts go to waste. Make a brain cake this Halloween. Get the recipe for the Red Velvet Brain Cake now.

14) HALLOWEEN: THE TUMBLR

Want to see literally every single Halloween-related image that’s ever been created or documented? All of them have been compiled into one lovely Tumblr page, for your viewing pleasure. Visit Halloween: The Tumblr now.

15) THESE 13 TERRIFYING ULTRASOUNDS WILL SWEAR YOU OFF HAVING BABIES

And there’s lots to be said here for aliens being born into human bodies. See for yourself here.

16) HAPPY HALLOWEEN: RERUN: 88 (ORIG. 09/26/13) AT DENNIS COOPER’S BLOG

As always, few Internet collections can match the intelligence and intrigue behind the material collected over at DC’s blog (NSFW but prompted by Blogger 1st).

17) THE 26 SCARIEST GIFS YOU WILL EVER SEE

View the scariest animated gifs on the web, according to Buzzfeed. And if you still haven’t gotten enough, then view these, too.

18) FACE-SHIFTING HUMAN LIVES HALLOWEEN EVERY SINGLE DAY

And she’s a different looking inhuman every day, too. I try hard to imagine living with this person. What would it be like to put toothpaste on her toothbrush every morning? What teeth would she brush first? The ones on her cheek, the ones coming out of her forehead, or the other ones? Spend some time with her face now: Make-up Artist Paints the Most Mind-Fucking, Scary Halloween Masks.

19) 35 PHOTOS OF PEOPLE TAKEN THE MOMENT THEY GOT THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES

It’s kind of fun to laugh at fear. But I’ll let you be the judge of that when you read this.

20) THE SCARIEST PLACES ON THE PLANET THAT WILL MAKE YOU SHIVER

Check out The Scariest Places on the Planet That Will Make You Shiver now, but put on your parka first.

21) BONUS#1: 2015’S MOST TERRIFYING LAST-MINUTE D.I.Y. HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

Put your thinking caps on, because this is the New Yorker. High-minded costume ideas, in case you work in academia.

22) BONUS#2: FIND OUT WHERE ALL THE CREEPY COSTUMES REALLY ARE

Enough with the high minded business. There are some genuinely creepy costumes going on here — if Bert and Ernie don’t have you convinced, there’s a problem.