“the glutton adores the moments before the wreckage”

“how a society or a culture treats its dead says infinitely more about the culture itself, than it does the dead”

“Anyone in a wonderful relationship knows that sometimes”

“He’d sweated through his shirt in big circles”

“I think that gun ownership should be licensed like cars are”

Ideas come to me so quickly that it's like spinning plates.

“Calamity bathes her Glock in a casserole pan. Tits out.”

“she felt a weird lump and it caused her a lot of concern”

“The two of us sat staring at the dancing flames listening for the splashing of Dad”

“In conclusion, I am nailing it right now.”

"What I want is a hydraulic, robotic arm answering a command from a mainframe computer."

“I am a respected member of the GoDaddy family.”

“I’ve literally been nailing it all weekend…”

“It is almost impossible to become a legend without a T.V. credit.”

“…someone being tortured by circumstance…”

“I’ll probably ruminate for about two hours over what I did wrong.”

“I nailed it for a week in New York, doing 12 gigs in 7 days.”

“Being the only comedian on a lineup of slam poets.”

“In LA, there’s fucking fruit hanging on every street corner.”