“I think that gun ownership should be licensed like cars are”

Ideas come to me so quickly that it's like spinning plates.

“Calamity bathes her Glock in a casserole pan. Tits out.”

“Weird, mystical, synthy, devilish.”

Bare skin, bodies turning ghostly and angelic…

Stained glass portraits with a religious and spiritual theme

Whatever happens in college, stays in college. Thank god.

“she felt a weird lump and it caused her a lot of concern”

“The two of us sat staring at the dancing flames listening for the splashing of Dad”

“In conclusion, I am nailing it right now.”

"What I want is a hydraulic, robotic arm answering a command from a mainframe computer."

“There were so many creative comedians in Portland then…”

“I am a respected member of the GoDaddy family.”

“I’ve literally been nailing it all weekend…”

“It is almost impossible to become a legend without a T.V. credit.”

“…someone being tortured by circumstance…”

“I’ll probably ruminate for about two hours over what I did wrong.”

“I nailed it for a week in New York, doing 12 gigs in 7 days.”

“Being the only comedian on a lineup of slam poets.”