Deathwith 050: Barrett

Editor Matty Byloos, Editor's Choice, March 2nd, 2017

"...not afraid anymore of making love and alligators..."

Barrett Deathwish Nailed Magazine
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Fucking and dying. More than cousins. More than someone you meet once a year and show off to a little, like, Hey look at me. Look at this Hula Hoop. Look at me and this Hula Hoop. But loving and dying aren’t quite sisters, either. Not that fidgety close. Not, Then what happened? Then what did he do? But the funny thing, being so afraid of sex, I’m not afraid of dying. Not afraid of the offing. Dying feels more like the next step of something else going on. In that last line, I meant to write “something else” in all caps, but I was distracted by the suffering. I don’t want those I leave to suffer, but I’m not afraid for their suffering. The ones who need me are just living through old sadnesses anyway. Those sadnesses have been around since the time of Gavialidae. Which is why I want ashes, because always the smell of something burning. Urned or scattered is like asking, Beatles or Stones? As far as speed goes, I’m not really interested in having someone cast my ashes while galloping a horse. And I’m not really interested in a celebration of life, ha ha. I basically just want to die and be burned and not be afraid anymore of making love and alligators. I wanted to mention the alligators earlier but there wasn’t an opening. Frankly, dead or alive, I’d rather not date anyone in Orlando.

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To read the previous installment, “Deathwish 049: Dante”, go here. To participate in Deathwish, find details here.

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Dante was born in Los Angeles, California, and lives in Kaliningrad, Russia.

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Matty Byloos

Matty Byloos is Co-Publisher and a Contributing Editor for NAILED. He was born 7 days after his older twin brother, Kevin Byloos. He is the author of 2 books, including the novel in stories, ROPE ('14 SDP), and the collection of short stories, Don't Smell the Floss ('09 Write Bloody Books).